Baba's Field Notes

forgotten moments from parenthood by jonathan jui

Letters - Pre-Birth

The Calm Before the Storm

Dear Fauchon,

I guess this is my last letter to you before you’re born, and I’m afraid I don’t have an exciting story. In the week leading up to your birth, your mother and I were both busy trying to fight off a cold given to us by your uncle Mark. That meant lots of chicken soup, naps, Candy Crush, and cursing patient zero for infecting us.

We also started sleeping in separate rooms so that I could sleep better through the night and boy was it peaceful. I consider it the calm before the storm, but I wonder whether this is how it always starts for couples that regularly sleep in different rooms? I hope not, but I expect to be back in the same bed after tomorrow to share in your mother’s misery whenever you decide to show off how loud you can be in the middle of the night.

On the day before your birthday, I learned something about myself. It turns out I’m also a nester (although in your mother’s opinion, I’m the only one in this household with a real nesting instinct). I went into a cleaning craze the moment I woke up with only one thought running through my head: “We gotta get this place in shape for Milo!” I dusted, I vacuumed, I took out the trash, and I even set up the air purifier where you’ll be sleeping. We can’t be welcoming you home to a messy place!

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As for your mother in particular, she’s approaching the event of giving birth like she would a marathon: plenty of rest and carbo-loading the couple of days before. I like pasta, but I think I’m ready for some of that frozen food your mother’s prepared for the next month.

Survival of the Cutest

Dear Fauchon,

I hope you don’t go through as many toys as our dog, Kili.

Survival of the Cutest[As an aside, new nicknames for her include “Beef”, “Beef Noodles”, “Noodles”, “Boom Boom”, “Boom Boom Beef”, and “Posey”.]

2015 in Review

Dear Fauchon,

Goodbye 2015!

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2015 was a year of transition for us: we got Kili and your mother became pregnant with you. And what came with all that was the transformation of a somewhat minimalist apartment to one littered with dog toys all over the floor and children’s illustrations plastered all over the former guest room.

It also marked our third year of marriage, which is no special feat in and of itself. In fact, with a puppy in tow and you on the way, it’s all very textbook so far. Looking back on my “journal” or daily log, I’ve recorded the following statistics about my relationship with your mother in 2015:

  • We fought 24 times (down from 54 in 2014).
  • The total amount of time we actually spent fighting was approximately 4,570 minutes (or 76 hours or 3 days)
  • This averages out to 190 minutes (about 3 hours) per fight.
  • The longest fight lasted 1,440 minutes (about 24 hours).
  • The shortest fight lasted 20 minutes.

It’s hard to draw any conclusions from that rough data, but I suppose it’s interesting. The only meaningful data point is that we seemed to have fought less, which is always a good thing! Maybe it was because we got a puppy or I have become a better listener or your mother has become more patient – who knows, and to a large degree, who cares?

As for my 2016 resolution, I’d like to only waste a maximum of two days of your mother’s and my life arguing with each other. And with that extra day, we can fawn over you some more.