Dear Baobao and Baby,
The roughest days for me are always the ones where I make your mom upset. An unpleasant atmosphere falls over the house with unspoken tension strung up between the walls. And unfortunately, it happens more than I would like.
The truth is, your dad, is just a self-centered person who too often gets too comfortable with my life. And in that selfish lull, I take things for granted and focus on the wrong priorities.
It’s a life long exercise to be a good and content person, and it gets especially hard as I get older and need to make the time for self-reflection.
Looking into the mirror and admitting my shortcomings has never been hard for me. It’s hearing it from other people, particularly your mom, that really triggers me. Not sure what it is – perhaps I rationalize it away when I’m admitting it to myself but hearing it from someone else confirms a character flaw I am loathe to accept.
Having kids humbles you, but I still hope that none of you have to endure what I sometimes put your mother through.
All that aside, we’re having a busy holiday season with friends, food (xian cao and DTF!), and trips (father-son Amsterdam trip!).