I said some mean things to your mom this past Sunday. The worst of it was just two words, but it was so mean the whole house suddenly went silent. I couldn’t see you because you were around the corner, but the moment those words left my lips you stopped playing with the wind chimes, and I imagined you just sat there in stunned silence. And your mom, well, she was speechless too.
More words were traded, and I eventually bullied my way to take you out to swim instead of your mom taking you to the park. Of course, the swimming pool was closed, so I spent a bit of time walking you around or just watching you at the park. It was also a lot of time to just think about what I said, how I felt, and how you felt. It didn’t take long for the emotions to subside, but by then it’s obviously too late. I can’t take back things I’ve said at that point. So while your mother played nice with me after we got back, she was still “off” for a good couple of days.
One thing I have noticed is your mother seems to have either become densensitized or lowered her expectations when it comes to our relationship. In some ways, I think I am lucky because it means she’s quicker to move on from my miscues, but I mostly feel saddened I’ve pushed her in that direction. I try to internalize whatever we argued about and make a note in my head to not do this or not do that. But sometimes the underlying issue is an old habit or a deeply-rooted attitude issue…and those are harder to change. Nevertheless, I will keep on trying.
On another note, apparently you have the makings of a studious hall monitor with that “no no no” + finger wag thing you do whenever someone does something wrong. You’ll even crouch down to the level of the baby’s face to do it. I can’t say it’s a good way to make friends, but it is pretty damn funny.