The month of June is both the best of times and the worst of times. We have the NBA finals, the weather turns sunny and warm, and summer vacations are realistically in sight. But it’s also when the pollen count explodes, turning it into hay fever season, and in the kindest terms, your mom becomes an annoying sneezing machine.
Who cares, you ask. Just pop a benadryl and get over it, you say. If it were only that simple! You think your parents are so dumb they never would have considered that?? If course we have! Part of the problem is some of the meds don’t have any effects on her. The other part of the problem is she is one of those hippies who doesn’t like taking medicine.
This leaves her in search of natural remedies…
“Look what I found at the pharmacy! It’s called Hay Max, it’s all natural, and it works 78% of the time!”
“Hey, I just read online that all I have to do is sleep with a cut onion and some sliced garlic next to me because the gas that makes you cry also clears your sinuses!”
“Hey I made my own ginger extract! It’s so strong and fresh it burns all the way down my esophagus and even in my stomach. But it feels so purifying!”
…all natural remedies that don’t completely work and leaves me as the bad guy when your mom goes into a sneezing fit in the middle of the night waking us both up and then I threaten to deport her to the guest room if she doesn’t stop. It’s a half-empty threat (rather than an empty one!) only because the room smells like onions and garlic when I fall asleep and when I wake up.
If you’re wondering what the silver lining is because I usually have one in these types of posts, there isn’t one. Maybe if you’re born during the summer months then you’ll be waking us up with your crying instead of your mother’s sneezes. I’m not sure which is worse.