Since your mother and I were friends for so many years, our relationship went from zero to sixty in about three seconds (or if you subscribe to your mother’s version of the story about me cuddle-dodging her, then maybe thirty seconds). And because it happened so fast, we never had a courtship or a dating phase.
We did go on some restaurant dates, but we had jumped straight into the phase of “early days of living together”, which is highlighted by our dancing around each other’s bathroom schedule and wondering who would fart in front of the other first. Going out together was always informal and laxed – grocery shopping, impromptu dinners out, and family events.
Since then, proper dates have been few and far between. We make “dates” (e.g., planned events) out of special occasions instead. For your mother’s birthday, we took a ride on the London Eye and I cooked her dinner. For my birthday, we went to a fish and chip restaurant followed by firing fireworks from the roof terrace. When Avengers 2 and Fast Furious 7 came out in theaters, we had in mind a Five Guys burger + movie date. That’s what we get up for now. This is married at thirty years old.
While we may be comfortable with the lack of date nights in our lives, your mother still pokes fun at me for never taking her out anymore, so this past weekend, I turned the tables on her by securing tickets to the Irina Kolesnikova (St. Petersburg Ballet Theatre) Swan Lake ballet. It was elegant, classy, and ballet-esque, meaning we caught each other occasionally yawning (I think we had an equal number). My most vivid memory was our mirrored expressions of surprise upon realizing the lead, Prince Siegfried, was an Asian fellow (adopted prince I suppose given his queen mother and the entire royal court was white as rice). We subsequently shared a nice chuckle seeing his name, Kimin Kim.
Following the ballet, we went for a taste of America in London by dining at the ever classy TGI Fridays. Now that’s a blast from the past, and like many food memories, it never tastes as good as it once did. Nonetheless, it was loads of fun. Blending a nostalgic dining location with your mother’s company was a way for me to experience an alternative universe where your mother and I were dating in high school as I had often wished at the time!
I sometimes think about looking back and not feeling like I had/have enough time left with your mother. I recently read somewhere that time feels like it passes much faster when you don’t do new things or create memories because your routine experiences all just blur together. That scares me…not quite enough to have established a regular date night, but enough to really get me thinking about it. We gotta find you a good babysitter!