Marriage does funny things to people’s relationships. Neither your mom nor I were strangers to long-term relationships (defined as relationships lasting longer than a year), so we understood that things are usually different during the honeymoon phase, which can sometimes last a very long twelve months. If I recall correctly, it was only a month after we started dating that your mother said to me, “Whatever we do in the first three months we have to carry on doing for the rest of our relationship. So don’t do anything you won’t be doing in the future!” It seemed reasonable for her to get a real sense of the expectations she should have if we were to build a life together.
At the time, I was refilling her water every time she finished it, going out to get her dry cleaning, doing everything I could to avoid farting in front of her, and never telling her when I was going to poop. I was (am?) a gentleman, so I naturally scoffed and told her not to be silly. “Of course, everything I do now I’ll continue doing.” What else was I supposed to say?
It’s hard to track how much either of us are doing things differently than when we first started dating, particularly as we are part of the evolution, but it’s clear some stuff has changed. When I pass gas now, I let ’em rip. And I make it a point to announce to her when I’m “dropping the kids off at the pool”.
The sex is also not what it used to be. It’s still great, just in a different and more comfortable way.
Your Mom: I have a headache.
Me: Should we have sex?
Your Mom: Well, that’s up to you.
Me: Huh? But you have the headache.
Your Mom: I can just lay there.
Your Mom: Are we having sex tonight?
Me: Yea, sure.
Your Mom: Well, can I wear a zit sticker or should I wait until after we’re done?
Do either of those exchanges sound like how two adults would talk before having sex? No, because we’re not single anymore, we’re not in the movies, and I’m not Joe Cool.
But not all has changed though…I still refill her water cup. But I do openly complain while I’m doing it.