No one knows what you’ll be like in 1-, 5-, 10-years’ time, but if you end up enjoying activities involving vertical drops or a subtle bounce, then you can probably trace it to our two default solutions when you go into an inconsolable cry: squats and climbing stairs. Both of those exercises are the Aces up our sleeves, but your mother and I can only do them sparingly because we are out of shape (me more so than your mother; after all, she has completed more marathons than me and has even completed the Chicago Sears Tower stair climb race).
Which one do we use more? The lame and honest answer is it depends. They’re both great for staying in shape but pose different advantages.
Squats are great if we have to absolutely do something at that very moment because one can pop some squats right on the spot. This is particularly helpful at the end of the night when we are in the bedroom trying to put you to sleep. However, neither of us like going to bed in a light sheen of sweat while panting under our breath. I personally try to avoid full squats only because my left knee gives a nice pop every time I do one. So I’ll occasionally do a half squat, but you seem to know when I’m trying to pull a fast one on you, and you are not shy to let me know.
Stairs are easier for me and are just as effective at calming you. I would do them more often except for the fact our stairwell is an echo chamber and when you cry, it is like doing so through a megaphone. It’s hard on my ears and I feel bad for our phantom neighbors. Your mother, on the other hand, generally avoids the stairs because she’s got too much relaxin in her system…and that’s dangerous!
If anything, at least your mother and I will come out of this with strong legs.