If you’re my age (i.e., an elder statesman of the Millennials era), you probably can’t imagine the following:
- Not knowing what a Gameboy is…
- Not knowing what a 56k dialup connection sounds like (Ronald Jenkees’ 56k Rap)
- Never having to talk to your friends on a landline, and subsequently never worrying about your mom eavesdropping on the conversation
- Never experiencing Adam West OR Michael Keaton OR Val Kilmer as Batman
- Never receiving one of those stupid email chain letter surveys
That nostalgic feeling building up inside you is your phantom childhood trying to hang around. Luckily, the past five years have been a golden age for childhood revivals, so not is all lost. We’ve hit a part of the circle of life where movie producers, toy company execs, and game designers recognize we exist and are catering to the likes of us. We are awash in retro 2d platformers, pixel art, and remakes of old franchises like X-Men, My Little Pony, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (some of it done better than others). Not only are they recapturing the imaginations of millennials through nostalgia, but also capturing the imaginations of our offspring because it’s 1) cool, and 2) an easy way to connect with your children.
On the flip side, being at this age also has its unique burdens, and a recent one for me is figuring out what to write on birthday cards for parents turning sixty. I tried to google some ideas and there are some incredible ones out there…
“Medical science will soon make advancements which will take the average life expectancy to 120 years. By those standards, you have just reached halfway.”
“Old age may give you a weak memory and weaker bones, but it compensates with the love of grandkids and the pleasure of retirement.”
The jokes about old age are starting to feel realistically morbid, and I imagine sixty is actually an age where jokes about being young don’t have the same ring from when one turns forty. After some research and thinking, this is my list of appropriate people-turning-sixty notes to put in a card:
- (Everyone likes to feel like they made a difference) – “Your 60 years have been a blessing to all your family and friends; thank you for enriching all of our lives.”
- (Instead of looking back, look forward) – “I wish you a happy 60th birthday and hope that the next chapter of your life is full of all the things that you still want to experience!”
- (Keep it generic) – “Wishing you the most amazing of special days for your 60th birthday” or “Hoping your 60th is your best birthday yet”
- From Bob Hope, “You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.”
I ended up going with #2 and then something about getting a senior citizen discount, but my wife had to white-out the latter because apparently it’s a sensitive issue.