Baba's Fieldnotes

observations + parenting cartoons by jonathan jui

pet names

From Kili to Kiwi O’Beef to K.O.K.

Dear Fauchon,

I often like to keep track of time through the names or nicknames I give to others. Some people call it phases, but I like to think of it as an evolution because a “phase” often implies a return to the “normal”. But I don’t go from Jonathan to Catson back to Jonathan. I evolve to Snappy Snaps.

I’ve touched on your mother’s nicknames before, but I thought to go through Kili’s names before I forget them! First, there was Kili.

kili cavachon puppy

Within a month, when everyone kept asking why we gave her an Irish name, we formalized it by changing her name to Kili O’Keefe.

kili-o-keefe

A couple of months later, it became Kili O’Beef because it’s fun to say.

kili o beef

At about six months, she continued to exhibit puppy tendencies but started getting too heavy and big to be just called a puppy. So your mother coined Giant Puppy.

cavachon giant puppy

Then comes Kiwi O’Beef. Your mother got tired of everyone calling her Kill-Lee instead of Key-Lee. I think Kiwi O’Beef is also fun to say in a long drawn out manner.

kiwi-o-beef

And the latest now is K.O.K. (short for Kili O’Keefe or Knocked Out Kili).

kili cavachon

Penny, Catson, and…

Dear Fauchon,

As with most (all?) relationships, my relationship with your mother has its highs and lows. As low as some of the low points get (e.g. any fight), there is equally a joy I would never achieve without her. I think this is a universal truth about human love – the deeper in love you are, the greater the heights/depths your emotions will reach. Your mother and I love each other like crazy, and thus hold great power over each other. And as Spiderman says, with great power also comes great responsibility, so we are both very much accountable for each other’s state of mind.

Catson

We discussed it,and we think Catson would look like this in a Smash Bros game.

Of late, I’ve had a hard time walking around the apartment without bursting out laughing, courtesy of your mother. And the reason is that your mother hasn’t been able to stop imitating my alter-ego, Catson (pronounced cat-son, like Watson), who pretends to walk around in a robe and flashes people while extending a leg out and bouncing it up and down. If it sounds ridiculous and embarrassing, it’s because it is, which is also why it is so funny.

The origin story of Catson also starts with your mother (surprise surprise). We were intoxicated one night and before she crawled into bed, I told her that she had to shower.

Too tired to do that, she said, “I’m going to just sleep at the foot of the bed like a dog. I wonder what my name should be. What’s my dog name? I think if I had a dog name, it would be Penny!” So for a while, she was known as Penny.

We’ve since established she has characteristics of a puppy (e.g., needs lots of love, likes to cuddle, needs attention) while I have characteristics of a cat (e.g., likes to be left alone, very clean, always looking like I’m up to some mischief). Eventually, I started calling her “Dawg” (e.g., Yo Dawg!) with a W because it’s funny-cool. When your mom countered by calling me “Cat” (e.g., Hey Cat!), I wouldn’t have anything of it. Plus it sounded like a girl’s name. Forced to masculinize the name, she came up with Catson.

Maybe the name itself is fine, but you want to know where Catson’s strange mannerisms come from. That part is not so clear, but we think it originates from one of my silly dances.

Your mother and I have now engaged each other on the topic of kid names (for fun) because we are so magnanimous and will consider something other than Fauchon. We want something that goes well with Penny and Catson – it’s gotta flow well when you say them all together. It’s not the usual way of choosing a kid’s name, but nothing I’ve written so far suggests you’ll have the usual type of parents.

catson dance

HELLO, Your Mom’s Name Is Also…

Dear Fauchon,

dum dumsI would be remiss if I don’t supplement my last letter with another one covering the list of names I’ve occasionally used with your mom. These pet names are more controversial because they’re negative in nature and because of that, she thinks they’re mean, but I contend they can still be affectionate. For example, I will call her “dum dum” for doing something silly or dumb. I think it’s cute, and I’ll end up using it until she gets fed up with it, which can be anything from a few hours to a few weeks.

We’ve gone back and forth on some of these names for a while, so I finally decided to make it awkward for all our friends by enlisting them to judge whether the names are affectionate or not [please comment on your thoughts below!]. You might say it’s putting them on the spot, and it is. I have no shame about it.

pet names nicknames

The results are mixed on two out of the three, and I was unanimous on Dum Dum. But you will probably learn that it doesn’t matter what I think even if I have a million people siding with me, it only matters what your mom thinks. So I’ll stick to the likes of Baby Bear.

All that’s also to say your mom’s got a good sense of humor for putting up with it in the meantime! And don’t expect her to dish it back out because she’s too nice. I thought to myself for a long time “I wonder when she’s going to call me a mean endearing name,” only to realize this has been a one-sided affair, which usually isn’t as much fun.